Who is the dispensable man?

The creator of this website is a man named Walter Callonet.

I’ve known Callonet off and on since childhood, and to this day he remains unspoiled by success. This is not due to modesty or any overarching perspective, but to the fact that Walter Callonet is not successful.

Physically, Callonet’s only distinguishing feature is that he is astonishingly nondescript. He is middle aged and looks every moment of it. He always appears rumpled, but that is not the fault of his clothes; he himself is rumpled beneath his suit.

Walter Callonet is no paragon of mental health. He is riddled with middle class paranoia, convinced that the movers, shakers, players, and those in the know comprise the vanguard of dubious individuals bent on keeping the truth from Walter Callonet.

Intellectually, Callonet falls somewhere between stumped and confused. He suffers from severe eyestrain because he thinks there really is something to read between the lines. His brain synapses don’t fire so much as sputter.

Callonet is the absolute epitome of insignificance. A recording of Callonet’s voice was not included on the golden record aboard the Voyager spacecraft sent forth into the cosmos. There is no mention of Callonet in any edition of the Guiness Book of World Records. Callonet has never struck out the side, sunk the winning free throw, or brought about a collective gasp from the crowd for any reason.

Otherwise, Callonet is not a bad choice to spend ten minutes with in conversation. He is a good friend. He has two fine sons. His wife left him for a happier man. He fantasizes about diminutive redheads who treat him with amused contempt. As far as I know, he’s never been arrested. He has a number of hobbies which include staying at home on Friday nights and looking through binoculars- not necessarily at the same time- but by vocation he is a private investigator.

Aren’t we all?